Changing jobs and romantic partners is not the solution to the real problem
I had begun to understand that I couldn’t continue to repeat my old and familiar behaviours and expect different results. I realised if I wanted to experience the life that I dreamed of I needed to take actions that were in alignment with the type of person I aspired to be and the quality of life I wished to live.
In the past, my usual method of solving problems or creating change in my life was to go out and make things happen. For example, if I was unhappy at work, I’d go and get a new job (or even change career’s, which I’d done several times). If I found myself single then I would make an effort to go out more often in an attempt to meet someone new.
However, this gung-ho approach had not worked in the bigger scheme of things. Changing jobs and changing romantic partners was not the solution to the real problem.
The actions that lead to real and lasting change
This time, I decided to take a more subtle yet thorough approach. I took an inventory of my life and then concentrated my efforts on becoming conscious of each and every action I took throughout the day. I observed how I felt about my environment and the things in it. I also observed how I felt as I moved through my day. I took note of the way people, activities, situations, objects and environments made me feel.
Then, I eliminated the activities and elements from my life that I didn’t enjoy. I minimised time spent with people who didn’t make me feel good about myself. I eliminated the things from my life that didn’t represent me. For instance, I gave away clothes that weren’t flattering or were uncomfortable to wear and donated objects that harboured bad memories.
Next, I began to incorporate and prioritise the things that inspired and uplifted me into my day-to-day activities. I scheduled time for doing the things I loved. I found that by consciously taking actions that brought me joy (rather than those driven by will power and discipline, such as going on a diet or starting a new exercise regime) significantly influenced how I felt.
I noticed that by taking actions with consciousness and with awareness, I could think more clearly. I developed more of a sense of myself. My inner voice began to emerge. My day unfolded with ease.
The biggest surprise? The structure of my day had begun to look a lot more like that of my ideal day.
Photo by Hailey Bartholomew