CHAPTER 6 – FOLLOWING LIFE’S COMPASS

Learning how to converse and flow with life

After several weeks of diligently ‘reprogramming’ myself (my subconscious, my beliefs as described in Chapter 5) my whole perspective on life had changed. There had been no material difference in my circumstances, but I was no longer plagued with negative thoughts. The feelings of anxiety, panic and depression had lifted. I had finally found my ‘calling’ (refer to Chapter 1).  I felt excited and inspired.

My intention was to share this information with as many people as I could. I wanted everyone to be able to experience the inner shift that I’d had. I wanted everyone to be able to easily and readily access the teachers and resources that changed my life.  So I decided to build a website.

Falling back into old habits of behaviour

I ‘happened’ to hear of an appropriate government grant and before I knew it I was being fast tracked into a program that would help get me started. Five weeks later I had a detailed plan. I was on my way!

Then, without even realising, I fell right back into my old patterns of behaviour. I developed timelines, agendas and goals for my project. I became, as per usual, obsessive.

I started hitting brick wall after brick wall. I found this confusing. Working on this project felt so right. I couldn’t understand why things were suddenly not going my way.

I’d been madly reprogramming my subconscious beliefs. There was nothing theoretically holding me back. Doubt settled in. Was I just was living in bubble land with all my positive thoughts?

It was time to review.

Noticing the signs

I reflected on the times when things had flowed in my life. These were the times when I had not burdened myself with expectations or plans. I had lived in the moment and simply explored the things that I found most interesting and inspiring. In doing so, meaningful coincidences and synchronicities had occurred. I saw that I found myself in situations and circumstances that I could never have planned, like the serendipitous holiday I refer to in Chapter 4. I had also been directed to the right information and support I needed to create this website.

I then reflected on my actions that did not bear fruit. I realised that in these instances I’d enforced my will. I’d reverted back to all my old ways of operating, which included getting from Point A to Point B as efficiently as possible. In other words, focusing on the destination rather than the journey.

With hindsight, I saw that I’d ploughed right over any warning signs telling me not to go in a particular direction, or that the timing wasn’t quite right. I realised I had more to learn.

Interpreting the messages

I believe that there is an innate intelligence guiding and directing us at all times. I’ve learnt that this intelligence speaks to me through things that catch my attention. Intrigue me. Arouse my curiosity. Evoke excitement.

I’ve realised that when I follow those things which entice and inspire me, meaningful coincidences and synchronicities present themselves. I now understand that I don’t need to push or open any doors. I just need to be patient, to look for the signs and walk through the doors that open for me.

I now truly understand what ‘surrendering’ to a higher will is all about.